Thursday, June 21, 2012
Taking Time Off!
We as women feel we have to "earn" happiness by working ourselves to death to please others. Some of us believe that the larger the obstacle, the sweeter the reward. It's possible to get carried away and only allow yourself to enjoy life after you've suffered, struggled or worked to exhaustion. If you find yourself stuck in this state of mind, think of times in your life (especially childhood) when you experienced joy without struggling.
Be willing to accept that people will be disappointed, you can't make everyone happy all the time. Don't try.
Fear of change is really the fear of the consequence of change. The consequence of change is rarely what we imagine it to be. You might be scared to "rock the boat"; many martyrs often bend over backwards to avoid inconveniencing others, and to avoid confrontation
Please stop trying to be perfect. Rather, aspire to be better than you were yesterday. Nobody is perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes or have things out of order. Correct the mistake and move on. I learned the hard that things are never perfect so I stop trying to make things perfect.
Learn how to say NO! Don't make up excuses. Tell someone the reasons you don't want something. Don't always try to please everybody because they could end up taking advantage of you and making you do stuff that you really don't want to do. It's like when someone wants to borrow money from you that you don't have. You give it to them because you feel guilty and don't want them to not like you if you don't. Learn to say no because this way here, they will stop coming to you for things if you stand your ground and just say No I can't do it this time sorry. So what if they don't like you because you said NO. There are always someone else that can appreciate you and not take advantage of your kindness.
If you feel that you do so much for others, but they don't do anything for you, maybe it's because you don't express what you want or need. It's not fair to make people pry an answer from you. If they ask you what you want, or if there's a decision being made, put in your opinion, and let that be that
It's great to want to help others, but it's something you should do because you want to, not because you feel you have to. The greatest acts of kindness are those done by choice, not out of fear or guilt If you're doing things for others because you would feel bad if you didn't, is the action really genuine? Would you want others to help you under those terms? And, if you're helping others to such an extent that you are neglecting yourself, is that really wise?
Do one thing you have been wanting to do, but are afraid someone else will not like. Dye your hair, get that new look, have a treat that you enjoy, go for a walk. Whatever you do, do it for yourself, and practice not worrying what anyone else thinks about it. Don't get caught up in doing things just because no one else wants you to do them. Remember that there ought to be things that you truly want to do for yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks, not in spite of it
LADIES give yourself permission to practice some self-care. If you were driving across a desert and were low on gas, you would pull into a gas station, put gas in the car, stretch your legs, use the bathroom, and maybe have get a snack. In short, you would practice a little sensible self-care. It is doubtful, if you were low on gas, you would keep driving until you were out of gas, having to walk miles in the scorching sun, warding off scorpions and wild beasts to the nearest gas station - if you even knew where it was - and then lug a gas can back to your car. Give yourself permission to engage in a little self-care. Your car can't run on an empty tank, and neither can you. Every day, take some time to do something healing or fulfilling for you. Take a bubble bath, exercise, write in a journal, or meditate for an hour. If you regularly spend time on self-care, you will recharge your batteries and be less drained from dealing with others..
I hope this helps and after reading this and take steps into taking care of yourself and don't feel guilty if others are put on the back burner for just a little bit for you. If you don't take of you first, you can't take care of others.
Have a great day